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  #1  
Old 01-24-2008, 03:57 AM
birdos81 birdos81 is offline
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Default Is it acceptable for my husband to text, email and chat online to other women?

My husband text's other women and goes on chat sites. He has cyber sex with some of them and hides it and is overly smutty and suggestive in his communications. It is driving me crazy as we have argued about the same thing for years, but even though it stops for a while it always starts again. He PIN locks his phone and deletes his message history and has lied about being a member of a chat site. I know he isn't cheating and has not cheated on me so far for definate (we live and work together and spend every minute together). I trust him not to cheat to a certain degree, but don't trust him to be appropriate with his communications. He has just been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and his actions could be a result of this, but don't think it should be excused so easily. Am I being overly jealous and is it acceptable for a husband to chat and text other women and be flirty with them?
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  #2  
Old 01-24-2008, 04:18 AM
Tryingnot2bePureEvil Tryingnot2bePureEvil is offline
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Default Is it acceptable for my husband to text, email and chat online to other women?

If u don't think it's right then it's not right. That is a decision only u can make. Do I think it's wrong....yes I do but that is me!
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Old 01-24-2008, 04:38 AM
leaf leaf is offline
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Default Is it acceptable for my husband to text, email and chat online to other women?

Sorry but in my book he is cheating on you. Cheating doesn't have to be define by having sex with someone else. If he is doing things with other women that you don't approve of AND hiding it from you - it's cheating.
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Old 01-24-2008, 04:59 AM
Needtoknow8733 Needtoknow8733 is offline
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Default Is it acceptable for my husband to text, email and chat online to other women?

So what's the difference than this and doing it for real? He's supposed to be in love with you and you alone and just because it's "cyber sex" doesn't excuse his actions. One day he's going to want the real thing. This would never be acceptable in my marriage! Cheating is cheating no matter what "space" it's done in!
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Old 01-24-2008, 05:20 AM
robbo4738 robbo4738 is offline
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Default Is it acceptable for my husband to text, email and chat online to other women?

Sorry to inform you, but this IS cheating.He is being untruthful, he is hiding things from you, and he is living alternate lives with others outside the marriage. If it wasn't cheating he would feel comfortable sharing everything with you.Tell him to cut off all of this online dating/chatting, etc. And enter counselling at once. If not, prepare to end the relationship - you don't deserve to be treated like a roomate
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Old 01-24-2008, 05:40 AM
aangie7817998 aangie7817998 is offline
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Default Is it acceptable for my husband to text, email and chat online to other women?

well being bi polar can only go so far and im about betting hes using that as an excuse.as for the chatting its not major if its normal talking but once it becomes cyber sex thats is just as hes cheating because what he should be doing to or with you hes doing with someone else there fore neglecting you and it is a gateway for cheating if he hasnt done it yet im sorry but he either will or is certainly thinking about it.i would suggest councelling because for him to do this there is obviously something thats hes not getting out of the relationship or commitment issues that need to be brought to the surface if it dosent get handled and dealt with now it never will and it will escalate
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Old 01-24-2008, 06:01 AM
NewMomInJersey NewMomInJersey is offline
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Default Is it acceptable for my husband to text, email and chat online to other women?

It seems like in these situations, only you know. We can speculate but your gut will tell you if there's something to worry about. And it seems like you think so and are just looking for confirmation.If you don't like the boundaries of your relationship right now, you need to either learn to accept them or demand that they be re-drawn. It may be fine for you to allow this behavior as long as he is faithful. Hey - different strokes for different folks. I'd be concerned about the addictive nature of his behavior though, especially with his recent diagnosis...
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Old 01-24-2008, 06:21 AM
keke keke is offline
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Default Is it acceptable for my husband to text, email and chat online to other women?

u are not doing nothing worng he is cheatin very cheatin an u need to move tha hell on
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Old 01-24-2008, 06:42 AM
swtme810 swtme810 is offline
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Default Is it acceptable for my husband to text, email and chat online to other women?

NO!! It is not ok for your husband to be doing this! This is not acceptable in a marriage....unless you want to put up with it. He is cheating on you...emotionally. Is this how you want to spend your life? You deserve better than that!Also, on the bipolar issue....He needs to get help. Maybe the two of you can start talking to a psychologist or a family counselor. You can't let his condition turn your marriage into him doing whatever he wants because of it. It is up to you if you want to work it out....you can leave him and let him get help on his own...or you can put up with it and try to work it out.I would be careful though....this doesn't sound like it is going to stop anytime soon. He obviously needs help right away!
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Old 01-24-2008, 07:02 AM
cheese cheese is offline
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Default Is it acceptable for my husband to text, email and chat online to other women?

Sorry to say I feel that this is cheating, no contact however emotional feelings are being exchanged. I do not feel that you are being jealous, you are being a wife!! Once he gets his meds regulated perhaps then this will end. Ask him how he would feel if you were the one doing the texting and chatting ! Perhaps if you spiced up your marriage and kept his mind busy with you he wouldn't have time to flirt!!! Good Luck
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